is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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