There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
