I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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