just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize