..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
