i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
