just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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