Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize