That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
