she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize
