Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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