He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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