She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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