Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
