Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
