I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
