She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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