When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Randomize
