Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I'm always down for nudity.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
