I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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