i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
