fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
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