She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
