just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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