Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
