normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
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