So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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