I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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