if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
