Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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