so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
