6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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