Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I just found puke in my bra..
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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