I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize