Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i will never coherently bang her
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
