girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
