can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
