I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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