This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
