haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
someone get that fucking seahorse.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize