and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
