i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
