he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
