My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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