I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
