If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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