im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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