So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
