I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
