I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Randomize
