She's like a pop up book from hell.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I need a burrito and a hug.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
