Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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