Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
