She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
