If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
