go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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