I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
