im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Welp...herpes.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
