"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
