Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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