It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
We had sex on a dog bed..
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
