I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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