I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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