i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Randomize