At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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