your parents love me but you hate me
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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