There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
birth control should be required to get into college
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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