it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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