The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
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